*Disclaimer: The following content contains references to suicidal ideations. If you or someone you know is someone you know is struggling, please seek immediate support from a mental health professional or contact the Colorado Crisis Service line at 844-493-8255.
Brad is a United States Army Veteran who served four years of active duty and another four years in the reserves. A true patriot, Brad always had the desire to serve his country for life, but tragically, he was injured during his service. Like many service members and veterans, Brad says, “I really did not know what to do with myself once I was out.”
Before diving into his post-military life, let’s reflect on Brad’s childhood and early adulthood. Brad and his brother struggled with an absent biological family due to childhood trauma. Fortunately, their stepfather entered their lives when they were young, providing the father figure they both needed. A career Marine, he quickly became Brad’s hero. Brad wanted to follow in his stepfather’s footsteps and join the Marines. He also had uncles in the Air Force and even some great uncles who served in the Vietnam War which added to his desire to serve. Growing up on military bases, Brad was surrounded by the military lifestyle.
When Brad was 17, his older brother decided to join the Army. Three months after his brother finished basic training, Brad chose to get emancipated and enlisted in the Army. He volunteered for a post in Korea because his brother, who was “scrawny,” was stationed there and he always felt the need to protect his older brother. The two brothers, having shared childhood trauma, were extremely close and relied on each other for support. His brother deployed during Operation Iraqi Freedom, and when he returned, both he and Brad struggled with their childhood trauma, which was exacerbated by their experiences in the service.
Brad transitioned out of the Army and struggled as he tried to reintegrate into civilian life. While Brad lived in Colorado, his brother returned to the Philadelphia area, where he began self-medicating. Tragically, Brad lost his brother to this battle five years ago. Brad reflects, “It was just him and me against the world.” Now, Brad not only had to deal with his own struggles but also carried the weight of losing his brother. He didn’t feel he could turn to his mother or stepfather for support, as his stepfather had raised them with the mindset of “you don’t hug, kiss, talk about feelings, just drive on.” Brad felt guilty, and his family blamed him for not being able to save his brother, which led them to cut ties with him. Naturally, Brad put on a brave face for his wife and children, trying to shield them from his grief.
This marked the beginning of Brad’s downward spiral. He worked 5-6 days a week, putting in over 60 hours, while his mental and physical health deteriorated. Desperate for answers, Brad saw multiple doctors, but they couldn’t determine what was wrong. He was told it could be chronic inflammation, an immune deficiency, or possibly even cancer. After running several tests, the doctors still found no clear answer. Taking time off work to focus on his health led to him losing his job. As he struggled with his health and the loss of his job, he unknowingly began losing his connection with his wife, children, and friends. Now, his stress was compounded by the fear of not only battling his health but also losing his family.
As Brad reached out for help, he found that many organizations offered little support or failed to follow through. He was losing hope and wasn’t sure where to turn or who genuinely cared. At times, he felt torn between wanting to live for his children and wanting to end it all because he couldn’t navigate the weight of his stress, health, and lifelong trauma. One evening, while searching online for help, Brad came across Home Front Military Network (HFMN). Initially skeptical, he doubted the authenticity of their mission, feeling it was “too good to be true.”
Brad recalls, “I was on my bed crying and I was on my laptop, desperately looking for help. I got on your website, and I was angry because other websites promised a lot of those same resources: legal, financial, mental health. I called and recognized immediately that the case worker was supposed to be kind of a focal point to take down your information, and what your needs are, and try to send you the resources and guide you in the right direction. But she could hear in my voice my pain and distress and she was so kind, so patient, and so receptive.”
He continues, “She stayed on the phone with me for as long as I needed and I felt so guilty, right, because that’s what I do. I feel bad all the time because I’m bothering people. I’m putting people out, but she was just so warm and so genuine. And it was just the first kind and genuine interaction with anyone that I’ve had in like a year. And she just listened to me. I’m not really good at talking about my feelings and she just listened to me. And then she followed through with everything she promised.”
The case worker sent Brad several emails, each carefully organized by type of resource. What surprised him most wasn’t just the follow-through, but that she continued to check in. She called and emailed him to see if he needed anything else, asked about his well-being, and made sure he knew HFMN was there for him. Brad said, “That was the individual who probably kept me alive for a good six months simply because she was nice enough to show that she cared. She was empathetic and sympathetic in a way that I hadn’t experienced in a very long time, and it meant the world to me.” Brad credits this case worker with saving his life and feels he hasn’t been able to express his gratitude enough.
Though Brad still struggles at times, he believes he is only here because of his sense of duty to his children and the desire to avoid causing them harm. He continues to serve his family by seeking the help he needs, as well as the help his children need. He is taking responsibility for healing his traumas by attending groups and trying to build new relationships. He now knows he can always turn to Home Front Military Network without fear of being dismissed.
Brad leaves us with this note: “I would say that, in my experience, working with you guys – you’re the real deal. You all genuinely seem to care about the work you’re doing. You all keep your word. You have the time and the resources to … follow through when others fall short … I think that’s important.”
